My days are filled with interviews and phone calls to victims of domestic violence. I keep in mind that there is always two sides to every story, and of course the person I'm talking to will paint themselves in the best light. Still, I'm often amazed at how such seemingly nice people have gotten involved in relationships that end up being violent. Of course, in the beginning each person is putting on their best behavior and everything is wonderful, but sometimes there are signs from the start that should have sent up a red flag of warning. If you meet a guy and he tells you that his ex-girlfriend got him arrested for domestic violence, warning bells should be going off in your head. I know, he's innocent until proven guilty. But remember in the page called, Why dont the police do something, the three things that are necessary before the cops could have arrested him. Probably, the only thing his ex-girlfriend did was call for help when she was getting battered, and it was his own actions that got him arrested. This revelation may have come up when talking about your personal histories, or in a seemingly innocent conversation, but you can bet that he is watching for your reaction. If you sympathize with him, then you're telling him that what he did was alright, and that calling the police is what was wrong. He's going to view you as a keeper. Do yourself a favor and lose his phone number. Maybe you meet a guy and he's never been arrested before, but he talks very angrily about his ex-girlfriends. This is a guy who can't move on at the end of a relationship, and he will be just as angry at you in the end. Angry people do mean things. One man I interviewed told me that when he met his girlfriend, she had just gotten out of another relationship. She had enlisted this man's help in her "pranks" to get back at her ex. He thought it was pretty funny at the time and it was one of those things that really brought them together. A year later he broke up with this gal and found himself on the receiving end of the "pranks". He didn't find them funny anymore. If you meet someone who is stalking their ex, don't get involved with them! You'll be next! If you meet a guy and it seems that all you do is go out drinking and dancing, or drinking and bowling, or drinking and talking, and every date you go on involves drinking, he might just have a serious drinking problem. I'm not saying you should only date people who don't drink. I'm saying you are headed for heartache if every date involves heavy drinking. We do things with alcohol on board that we wouldn't do sober, and that includes hurting the people we love. Okay, this is not a sermon on sobriety. I just think you should be realistic and know that a couple drinks is one thing but if he has to get drunk to have fun, it won't be fun for long. Bipolar is an evil word. If you hear that someone is bipolar avoid them like the plague. Doctors consider bipolar to be a medical condition. Cops consider bipolar to be the result of drug use, usually methamphetamine.  Before you get on your high horse and write me a scathing email, remember that this website is written from a  cop's perspective. I know that not every bipolar person has used drugs, but I deal with criminals and almost every bipolar criminal I've ever talked to has a drug history. Some are not really even bipolar, they just use that term to excuse their strange behavior and evil deeds they did while they were high. It's much easier to tell someone you did a very bad thing because of a medical condition, than it is to say you did it while you were high. I say remove the sugar-coating from the word. If someone hurts you because they are bipolar, then who cares if it's a medical condition or the result of drugs? You still got hurt. I say again, "bipolar is evil." Drugs are bad. Don't date drug users. Enough said. Do people deserve a second chance? I think they do. Can't people change? Yes they can, and most people do over time. How often do you meet a hardcore drug addict who is over seventy years old? Not often, because they have either died, gone to prison, or kicked the habit. The same is true of domestic abusers. They have either died, been killed, gone to prison, or mellowed out. So people can change and they do deserve a second chance. But that doesn't mean you have to be the one to sacrifice your life to see if they've changed now, or if that change is still ten years down the road. Since this website is dedicated to telling you how to stay alive, I'll say it plainly: Don't start a relationship with someone who has a history of domestic abuse or drug/alcohol abuse. It's all very easy for me to say don't date a violent person, but it's not like a person is going to mention their violent nature when you meet them. How are you to know he's violent? The police certainly won't reveal a person's criminal record, and you're not going to hire a Private Investigator to get the goods on every guy you meet. It's not as hard or time consuming as you might think. Obviously you have at least some basic knowledge of finding things on the internet. You could not have just stumbled on this particular website, you are here because you searched for it. I don't have any funny videos, pictures or stories that tricked you into coming here. You are here because you want help and you went out and found it. Good for you! In the last few years websites have been created that help you search public records, which hold a goldmine of information. I have found a website which I especially like because it doesn't refer you somewhere else, it contains the records. The best part is that you don't have to know the exact birthdate of the person you are looking for, just their approximate age. As long as you are not searching a super common name like John Smith, you will probably find the person you are looking for. Just to test the program, I searched for a few old friends I knew in school many years ago whose birthdates I don't know but I knew their approximate age since they went to school with me. I was sad that some of them had police records, but I was equally impressed with how easy it was to find them. I also checked my own name in the public records section and was amazed at how much info was available on me. It contained every home I've owned all the way back to my first house in the 1980's, in two different states, including their values. It also contained every phone number I've had, which really surprised me because I have always kept my phone numbers unlisted. My relatives names were listed as well. I think that every person should run a check on themselves just to see what info your stalker can easily find on you. Then make changes where you can. I'm sorry to report that none of the websites I found give away this wealth of information for free. They are running an internet business and they charge a fee to finance their website. The website I joined charges a small membership fee which gives you unlimited access to basic criminal histories and most  other searches. There is an additional charge for some advanced searches. I feel that the information available is well worth the cost of my membership, and the charges for advanced searches are reasonable as well.  We live in the Information Age, arm yourself with information and Don't Make the Same Mistake Again. Instant Criminal History Instant Public Records Instant Background Check Instant Reverse Phone Instant Reverse Email Instant Reverse Cell Phone    Click Here               Know who you're dating before things get serious. Run yourself and see what your stalker can learn about you.